Ah-ha! My secret was out! It really is "all about communication." Nothing more, nothing less. Of course the topics are maybe a little more challenging than chatting about the World Cup, but the pay off is huge.
The communication, however, needs to be taking place on a variety of topics, especially topics that can be challenging or charged. I'm talking politics, religion, clothing, TV and movies, choice of friends, etc.
We all need to be communicating with our kids about all kinds of things and doing it in a way that tells our kids we really do care about what they think and feel. The key to doing this, especially as they get older, is to adopt a peer-to-peer style of communication.
This means that rather than lecturing (which you probably don't do with your friends) and making pronouncements, you pretend like you are having a conversation with a friend, at least until you can actually do it for real.
Ask open ended questions like "What do you think about...?" Inquire about their experiences, try to remain supportive and nonjudgmental as they talk about something.
Ask yourself "Would I talk to my best friend like this?" And if the answer is "No!" then you might want to change your tone and attitude.
Give it a try - and start with something that isn't charged like sex - start with, well, just about anything else! It will take you a long way towards building great communication skills with your kids and you can guess where that will lead you - to great conversations about sex, love, and relationships.
http://www.fortune3.com/rekojreed/TheAskAnythingJournal.html
Dr Margaret
Villers conducted a study
that shows 6 percent of normal weight teens, 11 percent of overweight teens,
and 15 percent of obese teens had sex before the age of 13.
She doesn't
know why the obese teens had sex earlier, but she knows birth control isn't
used much. It's possible obese teens have low self-esteem and they don't like
their body so they feel good when a boy wants to have sex.
No matter
what your child's weight is, you need to talk to them about sex and keep the
line of communication open.
This
mama thinks she might be putting ideas into her kids by talking to them about
sex and drugs. She probably is.
Ya
know, if a teen chooses to parent, you think she’d get some serious support.
She stopped by with the baby to pick up homework and was asked to leave.
Turns
out, at least at this Michigan High School, letting other students see all the
attention the student and her new baby get will lead other girls to have
babies.
I
thought it was unprotected sex that did that. Go figure.
Then
we can see what it’s like to have our teen pregnancy rate DROP instead of rise!
Their teen pregnancy rate has fallen every year from 1996 to 2006. It went from
44 per 1,000 women aged 15 to 19 in 1996, to 28 in 2006.
Not
us! Our teen pregnancy rate went up about 5%.
Oh,
and that drop? It appears to be because kids are practicing safe sex - not
because they aren’t having sex.
Here’s
a little article on the topic! http://tinyurl.com/2eeftht
I
had some folks pretty darned uncomfortable at the National Foster Parent
Association Conference. Some people had a very hard time accepting the idea of sexual behavior in children as natural and
healthy.
Very.
Hard. Time.
I
suspect they don’t think any sexual behavior is natural or healthy, but
I didn’t go there.
One
funny thing that happens to me is that I’ll often end up saying one word or
phrase repeatedly - usually because I’m using it as an example.
This
time, it was masturbation. Masturbation, masturbation, masturbation.
One
of the participants was very open with his opinion that masturbation is wrong.
So open, that he sent me an email with references to prove his point.
I
learned some things - like men loose 1/3 of their RDA of zinc when they jerk
off and this can effect testosterone levels. When they have sex with a female,
her vaginal secretions counteract this event.
Masturbation
has been linked to increased cases of prostate cancer among men.
Interestingly,
he didn’t provide any information about women and masturbation.
My
guess is his view of masturbation is motivated by his religious belief -
spilling seed and all that. For me, this holds more water than any “scientific”
anti-wanking support.
I
happen to think that being opposed to masturbation for religious reasons is
justification enough. Your values, your choice.
I
was nearly an art major and Louise Bourgeois was a favorite of mine. I was
really sad to hear of her passing. However, she was 98 years old!
Her
work was lovely, interesting, sometimes challenging and full of sexuality.
Spend
a minute with her. She was a pioneer on many fronts.
Have
you ever been stuck in a tight spot just when you were about to have sex and in
walks one of your kids?
Here are nine awkward scenarios
Read More:
http://www.ivillage.com/when-you-co-sleep-your-infant/6-b-139197
