Amy Lang, MA: May 2008 Archives
I just watched Dr. Phil and he was hosting his pal, John Chirban, PhD, who was there help parents talk to kids about my favorite topic. He was promoting Dr. Chirban’s new book, What’s Love Got to Do with IT? Yet another book about how to talk to kids about sex.
I suspect this one may be a winner – but am concerned because, I think he doesn’t recommend talking about penetration until kids are 10 to 12.
They might be scared by the idea if they learn about it sooner, rather than later. At least this is what Dr. Phil says on his website and I’m thinking he’s probably pretty well informed by Dr. Chirban.
I think they will have already learned about or at least heard of it from their peers at this point. I’m sure I did, in fact I know I knew about it because I’ve known since age 4 or 5 and it didn’t scare me until I was faced with the actual act!
I am tempted to quiz my poor guinea pig, Milo and ask him what he thinks about penetration. He has never, ever said anything to me that makes me think he’s scared by this idea.
In fact, it’s such a small part of the whole baby making process, I’m not even sure it’s registered.
For a kid who knows about condoms (and yes, people have been teasing me about this), I should probably make sure he really “gets” the whole deal.
Or not.
Is it fair to blog using someone else's blog? Even someone you love and want to grow up to be like? Don't know.
But read this and let me know if you don't just die laughing.
Potty talk taken to a whole new level...
http://wondertime.go.com/parent-to-parent/blogs/catherine-newman-blog/05052008.html
Practicing what I preach
On Friday, while heading home from REI, Milo and I were listening to the 5:20 Funny on KMTT. He really likes listening to the comedians, even if he only understands about 30% of what they talk about.
Sometimes, he has questions about the jokes, but most of the time he just listens and laughs and that’s about it.
Friday, the comedian was talking about sex, much of it bleeped out, but not the word “condom.”
I was thinking Milo might ask what a condom is, and he did, but not until the guy mentioned they come in different colors and flavors!
“What is a condom?” came piping up over my seat.
I had to laugh.
I’ve been using telling your seven year old what a condom is as an example of something that might be a bit too much information for his age, but won’t really cause any psychological damage.
So, I told him.
And I have to tell, you, all my practice explaining to you all how to explain to your kids what a condom is paid off.
Remember, my guy knows that sometimes people have make love or have sex because it feels good to their grown up bodies.
I was calm, cool and collected. I told him what it is, why men use it and it’s not something he needs to worry about for a long time.
He wanted to know why they come in different colors. I just said because it makes them more fun…then I changed the subject.
I realize that asking you all to talk to each other during my lectures can be uncomfortable. You don't know these people particularly well, or maybe not at all.
And I've asked you to talk about how YOU learned about sex! Ack!
With a stranger! Double ack!
Don't I know how uncomfortable it is for you to talk about sex - even with another grown-up? Aren't I aware that you are there to hear my words of wisdom not your own?
Yep. I'm aware of all that.
And guess what? If you go out on a limb, stretch your comfort level and engage in these conversations with folks who are outside of your usual circle of family and friends, you might learn a couple of things!
Like feeling uncomfortable, but pushing ahead anyway can be liberating - you can do this!
Or maybe learning you aren't alone in your discomfort with this topic - we all are to some degree - even me.
And talking about where you've been can free you up to make a new path to where you want to be.
I have you talk to each other about something personal so you can practice in a safe environment and take home a little confidence.
Feeling a little squirmy pays off - for you and your kids!
