tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2008-01-04:/buzz//1 2011-01-14T22:30:10Z Movable Type Pro 4.34-en tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.113 2011-02-22T17:30:02Z 2011-01-14T22:30:10Z

I love my sisters at Dot Girl, creators of the Girls First Period Kit. It's cute, subtle and oh-so-helpful in helping girls be prepared for their first period. The kit has pads, wipes, a reusable heating pad and a great...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com Girls First Period Kit. It's cute, subtle and oh-so-helpful in helping girls be prepared for their first period. The kit has pads, wipes, a reusable heating pad and a great booklet about periods. And they won a Mom's Choice Award® for it, too.

This is an awesome gift for a young girl who is fixing to bleed at any moment!

Become their FB friend and learn all about them! http://www.facebook.com/DotGirlKit

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.122 2011-02-08T21:27:21Z 2011-01-14T22:25:17Z

This was a good news/bad news article - so read it! But check this out - scary and interesting and explains why 1 in 4 teens has an STD. In this typical Midwestern high school, 1/2 of the students who...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com
The big blob in this image is that connected group of kids. It's like Suzie slept with Bob, who slept with Tina AND Laurie. Laurie slept with Justin who slept with Suzie. And on and on. If Suzie had an STD well, I guess she'd get it back from Justin, at least in theory.

Mapping Sexual Networks

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.120 2011-02-01T15:30:28Z 2011-01-14T22:23:42Z

Do you remember your sex ed classes from school? Did you have any? Most of us have some vague memory of either being split up (boys and girls) and shown a movie or a film strip. We had sex ed...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com sex ed classes from school? Did you have any? Most of us have some vague memory of either being split up (boys and girls) and shown a movie or a film strip.

We had sex ed in 6th grade and all I can remember is something about salmon spawning...which I think was a lead up to human spawning. In 8th grade we learned about birth control methods - the diaphragm is burned into my mind for some reason.

And that is all I remember. Fortunately, I had books and my better informed best friends for information and support. Note who's missing here...parents! My folks were fairly typical in their involvement in our sexual health education - and did the best they could. And I turned out okay, which is what most of you are thinking, right?

Anyway, sex ed at school is important. Really important, actually. This is because sexual health is a public health issue and if parents aren't taking care of business at home, kids need to get this info from some other trustworthy resource.

Pretty much everyone eventually has sex, some sooner, some later, most at about age 17 for the first time. 17 is young to be a parent. 17 is young to deal with an STD. 17 is young to be driving. 17 is just plain young.

But that being said, 17 is when our bodies are ready to roll when it comes to getting it on and those hormones and desire very easily take over our brains and reasoned thinking. Why not make sure kids are crammed full of info about waiting and prevention? Schools could be harping on this from about 3rd grade on, but they don't. 

If parents were on it from kindergarten and kids were informed from an early age and crammed full of their parents values about waiting, etc, it wouldn't matter what was being taught at school. Parents have the most influence over their kids. School, not so much.

I don't mean to imply that school sex ed doesn't matter, it does, but it doesn't offer everything kids need to make great decisions about sex and relationships. For families that are on the ball, sex ed at school is supplemental to what they've learned from you.

For those kids who get less at at home, school needs to fill in the sex ed blanks. Once all kids have lots of information that is medically accurate, easy to understand, fun, normalized and actually helpful to them maybe we'll see a decrease in the teen pregnancy, STD and HIV rates.
 

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.125 2011-01-26T14:34:37Z 2011-01-14T22:22:10Z

The Center for Adolescent Health and Development at the University of Minnesota National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health looked at over 5,000 adolescents and their mothers for one year. Researchers found that caring, connectedness, consistency, and clarity with teens are...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health looked at over 5,000 adolescents and their mothers for one year. Researchers found that caring, connectedness, consistency, and clarity with teens are important-especially for younger teens.*

Specifically, they found that:

1 - When mothers reported satisfaction with their relationships with their daughters, their daughters were more likely to report that they had not had sexual intercourse. Similarly, high levels of mother-child connectedness are independently related to delays in sexual intercourse among eighth and ninth grade boys and girls as well as among tenth and eleventh grade boys. The effect of connectedness appears to diminish for older girls.
 
2 - Teens who feel that their mothers disapprove of their having sexual intercourse are more likely to delay intercourse. However, simply stating this disapproval is not enough. Parents must clearly explain and reinforce this message.

*"Connectedness" was defined as adolescents' feeling close to their mothers, knowing that their mothers cared for them, having open communication with their mothers, and feeling satisfied in their relationships with their mothers.

http://www.allaboutkids.umn.edu/kdwbvfc/fr_pub.htm

 

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.126 2011-01-19T14:42:03Z 2011-01-14T22:20:58Z

I've said it before, I'll say it again - Stranger Danger is a "mommy myth." Brought to us by some savvy marketers many moons ago, it has become one thing many moms worry about - when they really and truly...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com Stranger Danger is a "mommy myth." Brought to us by some savvy marketers many moons ago, it has become one thing many moms worry about - when they really and truly don't have to. It's a scary idea and not much more.

The chance of your child being stranger abducted is incredibly slim.  The US Department of Justice statistics of kidnapped children in America estimates that 58,200 non-family abductions take place each year.

There are approximately 75.3 million children in the United States - the chance of abduction by a non-family member is extremely rare. 
 
Please don't get me wrong, we need to provide our kids with basic information about stranger danger and what to do if they get lost - things like don't get into a car with someone you don't know and find a mom or grandma to help you if you are lost. 

We need to help them stay connected to their inner voice that tells them when someone isn't safe - we all have one. As adults (and especially women) we usually have it socialized out of us - gotta be friendly and nice! Even to that creepy guy, right?

Gavin De Becker's excellent book Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) talks about how we can help our children and teenagers (and ourselves) get in touch with our intuition. Our intuition that tells us when someone is "off".  It's happened to all of us - that guy on the elevator, the woman in the park - something feels odd, off, not quite right about them. That's your intuition talking. 

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2011:/buzz//1.131 2011-01-14T22:25:28Z 2011-01-14T22:27:56Z

Do they lie? Or is it just that some STI's are so easy to get that intercourse is not required? That's my theory. And many STI's don't have symptoms, so teens don't know they are infected. Fun stuff. Read more...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com
Fun stuff. Read more here:

http://www.jsyk.com/2011/01/10/abstinent-teens-test-positive-for-stds-study-says/
]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.129 2010-12-30T15:12:38Z 2010-12-03T22:11:55Z

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com
According to Dr. Lynn Sorsoli, from the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality in San Francisco, kids' relationship with their gender can be a very fluid thing.

Dr. Sorsoli says "Some children naturally question their gender identity because they think so concretely about gender rules, e.g., 'Boys like to play with trucks. If I like to play with trucks, I must be a boy' or 'I want to be a boy SO I will be allowed to play with trucks.' For some children, a desire to be the opposite sex is transitory, for others it is a lifelong journey, with sometimes agonizing feelings of being born in the wrong kind of body."

If your boy wants a doll or your girl insists she is now a boy, relax. Chances are this will pass and the less you react to their choices and pronouncements, the better everyone will fare.

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.130 2010-12-22T17:06:48Z 2010-12-22T17:32:26Z

Surprising news! The US Teen birthrate is the lowest it's ever been! 6% drop - this is such great news. Experts are saying this is due to the economy, MTV's "16 and Pregnant," Bristol Palin, Abstinence only programs, and parents...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com The US Teen birthrate is the lowest it's ever been! 6% drop - this is such great news. Experts are saying this is due to the economy, MTV's "16 and Pregnant," Bristol Palin, Abstinence only programs, and parents being more aware of the issue and talking to their kids.

This, of course, means no one really knows why it's down - just that it is.

The economy seems to be the weakest reason - I somehow doubt teens are thinking "My dad doesn't have a job, so I better not get pregnant."

"16 and Pregnant" seems more likely - I've been saying kids will watch this and think "That won't happen to me!" but go no further in their thought process about preventing pregnancy, etc.

One person commented on the link below and said her son says teen boys are occupied with video games and aren't getting out there and getting it on.

I'd like to think it's a perfect storm - parents talking more because of the recent increase in teen pregnancy, "16 and Pregnant," Bristol Palin, boys stuck in their video games, school provided messages about waiting and using birth control, and in some small way, the realization that having a baby is expensive.

I can't find the most current teen pregnancy rates to see if the abortion rate has increased, thus lowering the birth rate. The data I can find shows that from 1972 - 2006 27% of teens had abortions.

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.128 2010-12-22T15:05:33Z 2010-12-02T15:12:05Z

Children need to hear about sex, love and relationships from both parents and this means, you, Dad! Over the years I've seen a slowly growing number of dads attend my events. They still only represent about 5% of my audience,...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com
When girls have sex talks with their fathers, it teaches girls to see their fathers as a resource for questions about sex and sexuality from an early age. Who better to ask about the validity of any number of reasons teenage boys "need" to have sex than trusty old dad?

By talking to girls about sex, love and relationships regularly, fathers teach their daughters that men are safe to talk to when it comes to this subject. It is vitally important to both partners' sexual health that conversations about sexual history, STD's and testing are normal, expected and easy.

If a girl can talk to her father about these things, it stands to reason that she will be more willing to talk to a new partner and have the self-confidence to protect herself each and every time she has sex.


]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.127 2010-12-03T14:58:31Z 2010-12-02T15:02:12Z

Here is a script for talking to kids about HIV/AIDS. Make it your own!"Sometimes when people have sex they can spread germs and get sick, kind of like sneezing and giving someone a cold. This is called a sexually transmitted...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com
"Sometimes when people have sex they can spread germs and get sick, kind of like sneezing and giving someone a cold. This is called a sexually transmitted disease or STD."

"You know how you cover your mouth when you sneeze? We there is this thing called a condom that a man can put over his penis to catch the semen. It fits like a glove. This can prevent pregnancy and stop germs that cause STDs from spreading."

"There is this STD called HIV that causes an illness called AIDS. It's caused by a virus or germ that travels from person to person in body fluids - blood, semen, vaginal secretions and breast milk. The HIV virus eats away the immune system that usually keeps us healthy. The white blood cells can't fight off regular illnesses and diseases and the person with HIV eventually develops AIDS.

It's sad because AIDS causes the person to die. There is no cure right now, but people can take medicines that help them to be healthy and live as long as possible."

"People prevent spreading this disease by using condoms when they decide to have sex with someone. This is not something you need to worry about now, but just information for you for the future."

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.124 2010-11-18T22:55:50Z 2010-11-18T23:17:49Z

Worried about your local, friendly, TSA child molester? I hope not! I think this is one of those "Mommy Hysteria" moments - a problem is being created out of nothing. First of all, from what I read in the Seattle...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com child molester? I hope not! I think this is one of those "Mommy Hysteria" moments - a problem is being created out of nothing.

First of all, from what I read in the Seattle Times this morning, if you do not go through the scanner, you will get a pat down. So, GO THROUGH THE SCANNER. "Problem" solved.

1) Unless there is some legitimate reason not to, like a pace maker, hip replacement, etc., send everyone through the scanner. If you are worried about "radiation" or whatever, two times through the scanner cannot possibly cause any kind of harm. All of those ultrasounds you opted to have during pregnancy probably did more damage, if any, than sending your kid through the scanner.

2) If you and your child elect (or need) to go through the pat down, DO NOT make any big deal out if it in front of your child, AT ALL.

3) Explain to your kiddo what is going to happen and why. Be calm. Say, "They are checking everyone to make sure they aren't bringing dangerous stuff, like things that could accidentally start a fire, or hurt someone, on the airplane so we all have a safe trip."

3a) YOU GO FIRST. And keep your shit together, no matter what goes down. Sexual abuse history? Request a woman pat you down.

4) You will be right there, and the TSA guy NEEDS HIS JOB. If he happens to be a pedophile, chances are very, very high that he will not risk his employment to touch your child inappropriately.

5) You will be right there. Your child is safe.

6) You will be right there. Only a truly insane person would mess with a persons kid with the parent right there. Seriously.

7) If, by some random chance the TSA guy touches your kid's privates in some way, the chance that your child will become traumatized by it, actually depends on what you do if you even know. You freak out = they freak out. It might seem weird or uncomfortable to them, but not traumatic, unless it's painful or you freak out (or have been a BIG LOUD CRAZY MOMMY about privates touching) they will most likely brush it off.

8) I suspect they will have women pat down children anyway. Request one if you feel more comfortable.

9) Are you reeling from the possibility of # 7? Stop it. It's not going to happen.

10) And finally, with all of the horrid stuff that happens to kids every day - and not to mention all the terrible stuff that's going on in our world - it would probably be a good idea to find some things to worry about that are legitimate, like your kids' horrid sleep schedule, their all white diet, sexy-acting 8 year olds, why you let your daughter sit on "Uncle Creepy's" lap, our train wreck of an educational  system, and what made you think that being a mommy would be any fun in the first place!

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.121 2010-11-15T21:20:41Z 2010-11-15T21:27:01Z

If you can make to the end of this article about this researcher who mapped teens "sexual networks" you will learn she found some good news too! This research is 5 years old, but so interesting! It seems if a...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com teens "sexual networks" you will learn she found some good news too! This research is 5 years old, but so interesting!

It seems if a teen uses a condom the first time she has sex, she's more likely to use them consistently as she ages. The end result? They were 1/2 as likely to have an STI as the teens who didn't use a condom the first time they had sex.

They think using a condom becomes a normal part of their sex life.  Fewer sexually transmitted infections are a good thing. And I'm betting they also have fewer teen pregnancies, too.

http://www.artsci.washington.edu/news/Autumn05/Stovel.htm

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.118 2010-10-21T14:14:59Z 2010-10-21T14:18:55Z

Great little article by Oprah's people on grooming. This is what sexual predators do to families and kids to sneakily get into their lives. It doesn't feel bad, scary or wrong. Kids don't notice it and sadly, their parents don't...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com
If there is an adult in your life that makes you uncomfortable because of the way they interact with you or your kids, pay attention.

Stranger danger is a myth.

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Child-Sexual-Abuse-6-Stages-of-Grooming

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.117 2010-10-13T19:54:18Z 2010-10-13T19:57:52Z

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com decision making. Be bold and do what's right for your girls, dads! I'm sure their mamas will be behind you 100%. 

Dads Influence Daughters with Birds and Bees talks

]]> tag:www.birdsandbeesandkids.com,2010:/buzz//1.115 2010-10-06T16:39:28Z 2010-10-06T16:43:05Z

Got any plans for this exciting month? I'm going to use my son's friend who is a year older to talk to him about puberty. My plan is to explain what his friend will be going through - body changes,...

Amy Lang, MA http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com
Sometimes it's easier for kids to hear about sexuality when it's describing someone else and not directly about them. I am suddenly struck by the thought that I think it's easier to talk to someone else's kid about sex than it is my own.

Perhaps this is related??

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