While the numbers aren’t huge, I am so proud and excited about the future.

And I couldn’t have done it without you. Seriously.

Word of mouth is my biggest marketing tool and this means YOU!

Thank you SO much!

Happy Thanksgiving.

She had an anonymous survey on her website this summer and over 10,000 teenage girls and young women responded.

I don’t think this was a particularly scientific study – I can’t find a copy of the actual study – and the respondents were all viewers of her show. I am not sure of the demographics, but I do know that her show is watched by women aged 18 to 34.

Regardless, it’s pretty shocking, what these girls are up to in terms of their sexual activity – like having sex at 15 and at school!

If you go to the link below, you can read some of the comments from some of the girls.

http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/2008/11/sex_drugs_and_violence_what_ar.php

And here’s a recap of an interview with Tyra on the TODAY show.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/27706917/?GT1=43001

You guessed it – more about the sexualization of young girls.

I don’t think we can write, think or talk about this enough – and I don’t even have a girl!

It is our responsibility, not our children’s, to make decisions about what clothes they wear, the shows they watch, the toys they play with and the music they listen to.

If you let your five year old wear provocative clothing and watch “Hannah Montana” “because she likes it” you are doing her a disservice.

This is like letting her eat candy for breakfast, cookies for lunch and cake for dinner “because she likes it.” I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t let this happen in your house – ever.

Why would you let your five year old dress in a sexual manner and watch TV shows about the life of a person who’s only commonality is the fact that they are both female?

And please don’t try to tell me that high heels are cute on a little girl or that your seven year old needs a frilly bra because her best friend has one. These are articles of clothing for older girls and women. Not little girls.

Little girls don’t have breasts and they definitely don’t need their legs looking sexy.

Focusing on how our girls look rather than the content of their character is unfair, short sighted and I think leads to eating disorders, early sexual activity and struggles with self esteem.

Okay, I’m done. Sorry if I’ve stepped on anyone’s toes, but maybe I’ve made you think before you plop your kid in front of a TV show aimed at teenagers.

The researchers think these shows, like “Sex in the City” highlight the fun of having sex and don’t discuss the risks and consequences. Teens then start think they don’t need to use precautions and don’t take steps to protect themselves.

There could be some other things at play here, like the kids watch shows that reflect their interests – sex – and surprise, surprise, they happen to do it and get pregnant.

I don’t think watching these kinds of shows without discussing them is a good idea. Parents can watch these shows with their kids and talk about how realistic they are.

You could ask questions like “Does Carrie really have all that sex and never get an STD or pregnant? What’s she doing to prevent that from happening?” This might get them thinking.

You could also find other programming that’s more appropriate for them to watch – not that you can control them all the time, but you can have some influence.

Media. It’s powerful.

Parenting. It’s more powerful. Just do it.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/11/081103084042.htm

I don't know exactly what we were doing - checking out each other's parts or maybe we had our shirts off, I don't recall those details.

What I do remember is Derek's dad poking his head in and then ordering us out of the playhouse. I was sent home.

I had no idea why we were in trouble, but we were. I eventually figured it out.

This kind of play - exploring bodies, looking and even touching - is universal. Kids all over the world engage in this kind of play. It's one of the ways they learn about sexuality.

What's not universal is how the adults respond. Most adults respond out of fear - fear of sexual abuse, cultural norms, religious teachings, or our own experiences in childhood.

When adults are able to calmly disrupt this type of play, everyone does better. The kids learn that while the play isn't appropriate, they aren't in trouble. If the adults respond with shame, blame or yelling, the kids learn the adults freak out when this kind of stuff happens.

When your kid knows this behavior upsets you, they will make sure you don't get upset again. This could mean they don’t play this way anymore or they just hide the behavior.

Hiding sexual play can lead to hiding child sexual abuse.

We need our kids to feel confident we can handle anything they do. If we freak out over something as simple as "playing doctor" they may think we can't handle it if something truly awful is happening to them.

And if they won't confide in us, we can't help them if they need it.

Monday, November 3

Monday, December 1

From 7:30 to 8:30 pm.

Mosaic Coffeehouse,  4401 2nd Ave NE, Seattle

The single mom talked about her 14 year old daughter and how quickly she was growing up and how challenging it is to keep her from becoming too adult. The married mom talked about the challenges of raising kids who were severely abused by their biological parents.

I just listened and was reminded to count my blessings and to appreciate my parenting challenges that don’t involve teenagers (yet) and heartbreak.

Sam’s Club is working with this great organization called Count Me In for Women’s Economic Independence in NYC. They support women in business and this means me!

I have to go to Charlotte, NC to collect my award and after that I’ll get to enjoy a year of free business coaching, a free Sam’s Club membership, a presence on the Count Me In website and (hopefully) lots of attention.

I didn’t think the conservative Walton’s would go for a business like mine, so I’m a little surprised. Keep an eye in the news, maybe you’ll see me.

It’s dropped from 33% in 1974 to 17% in 2004. It took 30 years, but progress is progress, right?

The reason for the drop? Increased use of birth control and the availability of more effective methods. And for the record, the drop started before we had federally funded Abstinence Only programs, so we were already on the right track.

The only bad news in this good news is Black and Hispanic women obtain abortions at a rate 3 to 5 times higher than that of white women. Throw in a good dose of poverty, and the numbers increase.

Historically, these women are poorer and have less access to healthcare than the majority of white women – even white teenagers.

We need to think about what we can do to help young and poor women gain access to birth control. Voting for a candidate who sees the connections between poverty, access to birth control and abortion, is probably a good placed to start.

I spent the hour or so I was there talking about The Strangers' Hump Festival and the evils of pornography. For the uninitiated, The Hump Festival is an amateur porn film festival - the thought of which both cracks me up and grosses me out.

The two Pirates I was talking to were both unopposed to pornography and they were interested to hear my views and have a chat about it, and their idea for a Hump Festival film involving dogs, but not in a bad way.

I guess I just got to thinking about my porn stance - what do I really believe? Is it inherently evil? Does it provide something good in the world?  

I wouldn't censor it, but I don't watch it. I don't think, ultimately, it's good for anyone. It's confusing for kids to see (even teenagers - remember, their brains aren't quite finished developing) and as always, inappropriate for kids to see.

I think the one point I made that hit home, was that the porn of today, is not the porn of our youth. Playboy Magazine and the internet are two vastly different media. The vast difference being you can go from an image of a naked woman to very hard core porn in minutes.

In fact, I just went and looked at some on line. Just Google “naked women” and see what you get. Scary stuff.

I need to go wash my hands and maybe you need to figure out what you believe about porn. Go visit www.theporntalk.com they can help.

Even if you haven’t explained what sex actually is.

Those young ‘uns talk to each other, you know. And the ones that aren’t talking are listening.

And perhaps you had your own answer to this question before you were filled in about the actual-factual details. What had you heard or made up?

Let me know what you learn – I love these stories and just as soon as I get permission from the Mama who told me her story about what her son made up, I’ll fill you in.  

Last week, I was spending time at the Kaiser Family Foundation website reading up on TV and kids. They have done several studies on media and kids and it was very interesting to learn just how TV is impacting our kids.

Get a load of this - Kaiser's Vicki Rideout said: "What we found is that, overall, when you turn on the TV today, whatever time of day it is, whatever kind of show you're watching, the odds are about 1 out of 2 that it'll be a show with some kind of sexual content, and in the most watched shows, those on prime time, about 2 out of 3 shows have sexual content.

But the thing about it is, that very few of those shows, less than 1 out of 10 in fact, include any reference to what we might call safer sex type issues, a condom on a bedside table, a character who decides to postpone having sex, or some reference to the possible risks of unprotected sex." I cut this from here: http://www.kaisernetwork.org/reports/1999/02/kr990209.3.html

That’s a lot of sex on TV! There was also a recent report that found that kids who watch unsupervised TV in any amount, have sex about one year sooner than kids who watch supervised TV. 

This isn’t all that surprising, considering those kids who watch unsupervised TV probably have a lot of unsupervised time in general. And as you may recall, unsupervised time is a great time to have sex!

So now that you know about all the sex on TV? What is your plan? Will you let your kids watch any TV, any time? Let me know. 

Well, NBC is filming it all – freakouts, tears, panic, joy and relief – as six teenaged couples tackle parenting with borrowed babies in the new reality TV show The Baby Borrowers. These couples are all 18 and older, so they are barely teenagers and in established relationships with their partners.

The babies – the poor babies – have been loaned by willing parents who can watch the happenings from live video feed in a neighboring house. I’m not entirely clear why anyone would loan their baby to strangers, but these folks did.

My colleagues at the National Parent Education Network are understandably very worried about these babies being cared for by strangers (don’t worry, there’s an unfamiliar “professional nanny” lurking in the back ground and the parents can come intervene at a moment’s notice). And the babies are very distressed, there is no doubt about that.

I wonder if the ends justify the means.

Most of the teens think they can handle the rigors of a baby. They are excited to try practice parenting and are looking forward to feeling closer to their partners and exploring what it might be like “someday” with their own babies.

Interestingly, some of the teens fall apart within the first 24-48 hours before the baby shows up. Once the baby makes the scene all of the couples are clearly under duress – they really don’t know what they are doing – and any cockiness has completely disappeared.

“Parenting” is clearly way more difficult than these kids had imagined and by the time the babies are put to bed – most asleep in their care givers arms – the teens have had it.

They are exhausted, punchy, crabby and stressed. I’d bet every one of them would give it up and go back to their real lives in a heartbeat.

They’ve had the babies for 12 hours.

This show is a walking, talking teachable moment. Any parent who has kids 12 and older should watch at least one episode so their kids can see what it’s like to be fully responsible for a baby.

Then, as a family, a conversation should follow about what their kids’ plans for the future hold, what their goals are and how they can make their dreams happen.

Anyone can make a baby. It takes significantly more work to be a parent.

Read more here...

http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Feature.showFeature&CategoryID=34&FeatureID=1149