A concise article on the internet, porn, cybersex addiction  and sexting, and how parents can help prevent access or help teens deal with what they've seen.

A simple comic book style video game from Canada and the UK, created with help from 8 teens.  It asks several sex and STI (STD for you Yanks)-related questions.  Get one wrong, and the Sperminator will get you!  All questions seem to be true/false, and all answers have explanations.  Not a bad tool.

http://tinyurl.com/y8hkmg9

http://makeitbetter.net/family/parenting/939-talking-to-your-kids-about-sex-deborah-roffman-offers-parents-advice-

Read it here:

http://tinyurl.com/ykfbjov

Get this - Every year, more than 100 million young people between 10 and 25 develop STDs, and up to 4.4 million women between 15 and 19 seek abortions.

Hopefully, this will help. Although, it really needs to come from us, this comprehensive sex ed thing. So, what are you waiting for? Get crackin’ and get talkin’!

http://reproductiverights.org/en/feature/unesco-calls-for-comprehensive-sex-ed

http://tinyurl.com/ylrk55a

Also! www.pflag.org is the go to place for support for you and your family.

Even if you have gay family members, friends and people in your world, PFLAG can provide you with tips, support and ideas for being inclusive and managing your own emotions and judgments when you hang out with these folks.

Finally, my pal Margit and I are doing a great talk – wine included – Called “Birds + Bees Out of the Box” on March 6 at 5pm. We’ll be talking about how to talk to kids about “non-traditional” relationships. Join us for wine and cheese and some very interesting conversation.  www.bbbox.eventbrite.com

Here are my thoughts - I’d let your kids spend the night with very close friends families – ones where you know the family well and don’t get any bad vibes.

I wouldn’t let the kids spend the night with much other kids, like teen boys. It’s probably fine, and maybe I’m profiling, but teen boys and wee girls aren’t the greatest mix.  Especially if you don’t know the family well.

Trust your gut, however, and ask your kids if any of the people in the family have ever done anything that made them feel uncomfortable. This is a non-threatening way to get info out of her.

Also, ask her if there are any adults in her life she doesn’t like, feels yucky around, etc. Tell her it’s okay to tell you and that she won’t be in trouble for saying something “bad” about someone. Her intuition will tell her if someone is off. Yours too, if you pay attention.

One thing my friend Kim does is ½ sleepovers – the girl goes, and stays late and comes home. This might be the solution for families you don’t know well. Sleepovers suck anyway, as you may recall. I liked to do it, but always felt crappy the next day and it was hard to sleep away from my parents.

Having the sleepover at your house is a good idea too – but what do you do if both families have the same rule?!  Might mean everyone is safe if they are savvy enough to do that, right?

Finally, afterwards, ask questions like “What was the most fun you had?” and then “Did anything happen that made you feel uncomfortable?”  Make sure they both know that no adult or older child should ever touch their privates – unless it’s you, their other parent or the doctor. And only if there’s a problem. 

Sign up for the PEACE of Mind newsletter – it’s great! www.pomwa.org  All kinds of safety tips!

From a friend - Feel free to send me yours!

We had our talk, your book really helped, btw. We spoke about all things a 6 almost 7 year old needs to know and then some.

My favorite part...and you have to think in a little boy voice, like he was playing with action figures... was when he summarized by saying, "So the sperm SHOOOOOTS (ker-pow!) out of the penis and the swimming guys attack the egg (ahhhh, get out of my way, get out of my way!) trying to be the first in line to make the baby, right?"

I told him he got the first grader version and that we would need to talk again either when he had more questions or was older - that there were other more detailed versions in store for him, lol.

http://tinyurl.com/ydzb94u

The report analyzes sexual health and behavior data. The latest findings indicate:

• A majority of 18 and 19 year olds report having had sex.
• Approximately 30% of males and females ages 15-17 say they have had sex.
• Roughly 30% of 15-19 years olds report having multiple partners.

The researchers surveyed parents about the timing of dicsussion of different sex related topics with the stage of sexual activity they thought their kids had experienced.The kids did the same thing - except they reported the sexual activity they had engaged in at the time of the conversation.

Guess what? Time and again, the parents underestimated the level of sexual activity their kids had engaged in. For example, a parent talked to their child about wet dreams and said they thought their child had been kissed. The child reported they had experienced genital touching. Whoops!

Bottom line. Start talking about everything before they're sexually active. It will serve them well.

Check out the charts!  http://tinyurl.com/ydnkf95

Sexy little dancers, huh? Ick. But it could be worse...

I am excited to work on this project - a new audience! And am hopeful I'll be able to help teens navigate their romances feeling a whole lot more confident than I ever did.

One thing I am doing is including a section on Virginity Stories - tales of virginity loss. I think this will be helpful to teens so they can see what happens to people under all sorts of circumstances. It will give them an opportunity to think more clearly about what they want for themselves or their partner when the time comes (no pun intended!).

I'd love it if you would send me your virginity story - how'd you lose it? What's your story? I'm more interested in the story than the impact on you - but I'm happy to hear about that too. If you're willing, I may use it in my book. It will be anonymous and, of course, anything you tell me is confidential, unless you send me your tale as a comment to this blog entry. Or you can email me, of course! amy@birdsandbeesandkids.com

Thanks in advance!