Results tagged “sexual abuse prevention” from Buzz

This is one of those things that make me feel like a paranoid nut, but I think is actually something we should really think about before we send our kiddos off to some kid's house for the night.

Here are my thoughts - I'd let your kids spend the night with very close friends families - ones where you know the family well and don't get any bad vibes.

I wouldn't let the kids spend the night with much other kids, like teen boys. It's probably fine, and maybe I'm profiling, but teen boys and wee girls aren't the greatest mix.  Especially if you don't know the family well.

Trust your gut, however, and ask your kids if any of the people in the family have ever done anything that made them feel uncomfortable. This is a non-threatening way to get info out of her.

Also, ask her if there are any adults in her life she doesn't like, feels yucky around, etc. Tell her it's okay to tell you and that she won't be in trouble for saying something "bad" about someone. Her intuition will tell her if someone is off. Yours too, if you pay attention.

One thing my friend Kim does is ½ sleepovers - the girl goes, and stays late and comes home. This might be the solution for families you don't know well. Sleepovers suck anyway, as you may recall. I liked to do it, but always felt crappy the next day and it was hard to sleep away from my parents.

Having the sleepover at your house is a good idea too - but what do you do if both families have the same rule?!  Might mean everyone is safe if they are savvy enough to do that, right?

Finally, afterwards, ask questions like "What was the most fun you had?" and then "Did anything happen that made you feel uncomfortable?"  Make sure they both know that no adult or older child should ever touch their privates - unless it's you, their other parent or the doctor. And only if there's a problem. 

Sign up for the PEACE of Mind newsletter - it's great! www.pomwa.org  All kinds of safety tips!

Trust your gut. How many times have you heard this, know this and gone ahead an ignored it? Bad Mama! Bad Daddy! 

Last night I did a talk for a group of preschool parents about “Playing Doctor” – natural and healthy sexual play, sexualized behavior and what to do when kids are engaging in this type of behavior.

One of my favorite parts of this talk is when I provide the group with different scenarios and ask them to determine if what’s described is “natural and healthy or cause for concern.”

At this point in my talk, the parents have learned the difference and have had a chance to ask me questions, talk to each other and take some of this sometimes unsettling information in.

The thing I find really interesting is how clearly their intuition helps them to decide if the different descriptions are healthy, or not. Now, I haven’t tested the waters here, but I think I could give the parents these descriptions before they have any information from me and they would know, based on their gut reactions, if the kids described need help.

We intuitively know when something isn’t right – and our kids do too. Help them learn how to develop and refine their intuition. Their intuition is much stronger and clearer than ours – ours has been socialized out of us in the interest of being polite.

Talk about it when you get that “uh-oh feeling” as my pals at PEACE of Mind describe it. Ask them about their intuitive experience.

Kids who can name and acknowledge their intuitive experience are safer. They will naturally stay away from Uncle Creepy or that kid that just doesn’t seem right. And it’s our job to trust them when they say they don’t like someone or a situation so they can learn to trust themselves.