Results tagged “sexual development” from Buzz
Have you noticed how everything is sexy these days? The iPhone, those teenage girls, Bratz dolls, my new boots and, perversely, the eight year old on the playground in her tiny miniskirt and boots.
Sexy is everywhere and it’s one of those things your kids should know about – what it means, that is.
“Sexy” has to do with sexual attraction – making yourself look good in a way that will attract a sexual partner. For me, this is the core of the concept.
Is this something you want your kids trying on? Being “sexy”? Are they ready to attract sexual partners? What kinds of clothing are they wearing? Does your eight year old girl look like a teenager?
What do you think our boys are thinking about these sexy little girls they are faced with everyday? Probably nothing, if they aren’t bumping up against puberty, but what if they are? Do you want that cute 5th grade boy thinking naughty thoughts about your sweet little girl? I didn’t think so.
This is a cultural problem, inappropriate sexiness and it’s hard to avoid. Perhaps if we talk to our kids about what this is, what it means and what our values are around it, our kids will make different decisions about what clothes the “love” or TV shows they insist on watching.
Maybe not.
Do you remember "playing doctor" as a kid? I do. I was six and playing with my neighbor, Derek who was my age. He had one of those tablecloth play houses - remember those? It was a plastic cloth that had windows, a door and the sides went down to the ground.
I don't know exactly what we were doing - checking out each other's parts or maybe we had our shirts off, I don't recall those details.
What I do remember is Derek's dad poking his head in and then ordering us out of the playhouse. I was sent home.
I had no idea why we were in trouble, but we were. I eventually figured it out.
This kind of play - exploring bodies, looking and even touching - is universal. Kids all over the world engage in this kind of play. It's one of the ways they learn about sexuality.
What's not universal is how the adults respond. Most adults respond out of fear - fear of sexual abuse, cultural norms, religious teachings, or our own experiences in childhood.
When adults are able to calmly disrupt this type of play, everyone does better. The kids learn that while the play isn't appropriate, they aren't in trouble. If the adults respond with shame, blame or yelling, the kids learn the adults freak out when this kind of stuff happens.
When your kid knows this behavior upsets you, they will make sure you don't get upset again. This could mean they don’t play this way anymore or they just hide the behavior.
Hiding sexual play can lead to hiding child sexual abuse.
We need our kids to feel confident we can handle anything they do. If we freak out over something as simple as "playing doctor" they may think we can't handle it if something truly awful is happening to them.
And if they won't confide in us, we can't help them if they need it.
If your child is in elementary school, there is an excellent chance she will have an answer for you.
Even if you haven’t explained what sex actually is.
Those young ‘uns talk to each other, you know. And the ones that aren’t talking are listening.
And perhaps you had your own answer to this question before you were filled in about the actual-factual details. What had you heard or made up?
Let me know what you learn – I love these stories and just as soon as I get permission from the Mama who told me her story about what her son made up, I’ll fill you in.
What alarming news out of Massachusetts today - 17 pregnant teen-aged girls at one high school.
Half of the pregnancies were intentional.
Even more alarming was the interview with the principal. His theory is that these girls don’t see any future for themselves, so they get pregnant so they will have something to do and feel important.
I feel for these girls, who don’t have the support to make better decisions for themselves. When I listened to the Principal I had to wonder – isn’t it part of the schools’ job to help these girls find something to give their lives meaning?
I realize the school isn’t wholly responsible for these girls’ lives, but they do have the opportunity to help them see more for their futures, which can include parenting, but shouldn’t be the first thing on the list.
I worry that Jamie Lynn Spears and the movie Juno have glamorized teen pregnancy and make it seem like a reasonable life choice. Media makes it look so easy and when parents are able to give their girls what they need in terms of self esteem and sound decision making skills, it’s not surprising choosing to have a baby seems like a good idea.
Is it fair to blog using someone else's blog? Even someone you love and want to grow up to be like? Don't know.
But read this and let me know if you don't just die laughing.
Potty talk taken to a whole new level...
http://wondertime.go.com/parent-to-parent/blogs/catherine-newman-blog/05052008.html
